This and That

Q. How many sopranos (or prima donnas) does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. She holds up the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Q. How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I don't know, what do you think?

Q. Do you know the difference between a consultant and a supermarket cart?
A. Well, at least a supermarket cart has a mind of its own. But you can fit more food and wine into a consultant.

Q. Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman says to him: "Why the long face?"

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A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said: "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed: "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing. He might just be in a coma."

The vet rolled his eyes and left the room, returning a few moments later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said: "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 per cent certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$350!" she cried. "$350 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $40, but what with the lab report and the cat scan-"

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Today's Quote

If this were enforced there would be less need for tort reform.

"Laws are made for men of ordinary understanding and should, therefore, be construed by the ordinary rules of common sense.  Their meaning is not to be sought for in metaphysical subtleties which may make anything mean verything or nothing at pleasure."

-- Thomas Jefferson (letter to William Johnson, 12 June 1823)

Reference: The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, Memorial Edition, Lipscomb and Bergh, eds., vol. 15 (450)

Is Sex Education Working?

I just read "Mallard Fillmore" and was reminded of when I was a school kid in the 50' & 60's. Back then the teachers spent their time teaching core subjects such as English, arithmetic, science and history. We never heard any instruction on sex or birth control because that was the parents job.

Today's generations are shown sex education videos. The parents can certainly opt to not have their kid attend but with the super self centered condition of todays parents they're going to let their kids stay. Why should they have to do all the work? (read - talk to their kids when someone else can)

Which generation had less STD's? Unwanted pregancies? Better educated kids?

Although the cartoon is funny it hits home.

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New Drug Now Available

Latest Poll?

The latest telephone poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem.

A) 35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."

B) 65% of respondents answered: "No es una problema serio."

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"Going Green" not a big deal to consumers

This just in from CNSNews

By Randy Hall
CNSNews.com Staff Writer/Editor
August 15, 2007

(CNSNews.com) - Despite unwavering attention from the media, government and business, global warming is only of moderate concern to most consumers, according to a new survey of consumers and their environmental attitudes.

"Consumers are not drinking the Kool-Aid when it comes to green," said J. Walker Smith, president of the Yankelovich, Inc., marketing firm, which released the survey results on Monday.

"While they're highly aware of environmental issues due to the glut of media attention," said Smith, "the simple fact is that 'going green' in their everyday life is simply not a big concern or a high priority."

This is "the first study of its kind to examine how much consumers truly care about green issues," stated the research firm, based in Chapel Hill, N.C., in a news release, which further noted that only 34 percent of consumers feel much more concerned about environmental issues today than a year ago.

These groups largely use "spoke-alarmists whose own wretched excesses expose the movement's hypocrisy and/or lack of seriousness," Horner said. As a result, "the consuming public sees this for what it is: a fashion accessory or statement of fashionability, but not a crisis." (Don sez - algore consumes at least 12 times more energy than the average American)

Telephone calls and e-mails seeking comments from such "green" groups as the Sierra Club, Greenpeace International, the Environmental Defense Club and the Natural Resources Defense Council were not returned by press time. But Smith had some good news for environmental activists. (Don sez - is anybody surprised? They can't refute science.) Read the article...

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Help algore!

Hey! algore is in trouble and you can help! Science is having a hard time proving humans are responsible for globalwarming (read algorewarming) and he needs real help before he can debate any qualified scientist. Believe it or not, Barbara Streisand and Sean Penn aren't scientists. Yeah, I about fainted, too, when I found that out.

Go to this website and see how you can help!

By the way, if you can help algore you can receive $100,000!!!

Help algore!

Here's what he's up against. Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine (17,000 qualified scientists). Hurry! Help algore.

Don

This Just In

During President Bush's routine cancer scan at Camp David five polyps were found and removed. After tests they were found to be safe.

Democrats want to know who they were and why they were removed.

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We're in trouble. Liberal Strategy for the War on Terror!

What will we do? This is so brilliant...



maybe you should refer to the previous post on this blog.

Don

Democratic is a process
democrat is what they are...